Mixed Metaphors - An Art Form

The subject of this blog installment is pretty silly. I am pretty sure it does not qualify for "a word fitly spoken" but it is about words. That aside, I have to share with you my delight in the art form of the mixed metaphor. I absolutely love a good mixed metaphor, it does such funny things in my mind. The hardest part of relishing a good mixed metaphor is being able to catch it as it is being said. That is the beauty of the whole thing. Often times a good mixed metaphor is a good scramble of two or more metaphors but the outcome is the same if you understand what I am saying. For instance, here is a mixed metaphor I actually heard a very astute man say one time; "that guy got the raw end of the stick". Not a pretty word picture, but an excellent example of the art form. Let's dissect this little jewel. The two metaphors were, "a raw deal" and "the short end of the stick". Put raw and stick together and you get "raw end of the sick". Awesome! It is so messed up but the person hearing it actually understands exactly what is meant that the whole thing is seamless to the point you may not even catch it. A common mixed metaphor you may hear all of the time is; "it's not rocket surgery". The two obvious metaphors: "it's not rocket science" and "it's not brain surgery". Once again it rises to the form of art as you know exactly what is meant even though there is no such thing as "rocket surgery", neither do sticks have raw ends. Amazing.

This is now a family sport between my wife and I and our two sons. When we come across a jewel such as these, we share a moment of pure joy. It qualifies as part of the "family humor", you know, the sort of inside jokes that only your family understands. There needs be no explanation between the family members as what may appear to a non-family member as something that just does not make sense in any way. Ah, but it does. What the outsider lacks is the context in which such a thing was originally spoken. Just the mention of the punchline is enough to bring back all of the humor, joy and delight of the thing.

Speaking of this, my wife caught the ultimate jewel the other day. It was so good I had to email my sons within minutes of my wife opening this beauty. This mixed metaphor is so AMAZING that I didn't even know it could possibly exist. A TRIPLE MIXED METAPHOR! I cannot tell you how much mileage I have gotten out of this, it is simply genius. She was listening to a speaker telling the audience how we must be prepared and flexible at all times, that we must be able to (here it is...) "shift on a dime's notice". WOW! That is simply the most complex and wonderful mixed metaphor I have ever heard. It was presented so smoothly and seamlessly that it appeared that no one else in the room was even able to catch it. If there had been, there would have at least been several people scratching their heads trying to figure out what was just said.

Let us examine the complexity of this crown jewel. Three metaphors: "shift gears", "stop on a dime" and "in a moment's notice." Mix them and you get "shift on a dime's notice". This is absolute genius level metaphor mixing. I am in awe. Given years I think I might have only come up with "shift on a dime" if I was inspired. To add the third metaphor messes the message up so amazingly but the message is the same. I simply am humbled by this person's ability and cranial capacity. I have met a master metaphor mixer.

So, if you like mixed metaphors please share them with me. You may have to "burn the midnight oil at both ends" to think of a few, but the sacrifice of time will be worth it. This is an under appreciated art form that deserves to be preserved. Perhaps we can work together to collect and publish these beautiful (and sometimes not) word pictures that can transform speech into something of marvel and mystery.